Lightmare

“I think” is just a thought, as well as “I”.

2012-02-24T06:47:00.001-08:00

Who is than thinking?

“I think therefore I am” is a famousstatement from René Descartes,which describes greatly western concept of self. As it might have been anecessary phase (or it doesn’t, doesn’t matter) it is a concept that doesn’tmatch reality.

If we look into the reality of ouractual experience this statement is just one of the thoughts. It doesn’t proveanyone’s existence. And existence of thoughts doesn’t imply that there issomeone thinking them. Anyway our experience doesn’t say so. It says thatthoughts come and go. Source and destination – unknown. We can try to fill thegaps of unknown with imagined concepts, but believing them to be true will leadinto a blind alley, distorted way of living and suffering. As it really does - unexaminedbelief in thoughts.

So, don’t believe, examine for yourself!

Just look at thoughts:
Can you control them?
Do you know what your next though is going to be?
Can a thought be cut in the middle?

Can you think two thoughts at the sametime?

NO. To all.

No control at all. Just a free flow innow.

Just watch thoughts how they accompany experiences.Some of them useful, some of them completely obsolete comments. Even those thatseem to appear as -decision makings - are found by neuroscience to come intoawareness few seconds after the actual signal in the brain. So they all seem tobe just post–event commentaries simulating the impression of free will.

But it is not the question if there is afree will, but who’s that free will should be?

There is just experience of life withbody, thoughts, feelings, sensations. And than thoughts labeling it as myexperience. But who’s? “I” is just one of the thoughts, not at all special.

Some might object that there is afeeling of “being me” but dissect it, look at it and you find nothing butfeeling of aliveness, presence, body breathing and labeling it with the thought“I” - for such a long time, making it into a habit.

Life, awareness is non-local,non-personal. And everything that appears is appearing in it like one bigholographic simulation of different characteristics and forces embodied throughhuman life wave, making out of it a human experience in various nuances. But realityreflects uniquely in every part of itself, without ever dividing itself. We maycall that various reflections “I” but when you look, there is nothing behind. Neverwas.

Seeing it might be liberating and enlightening...

How deep can be now?

2012-02-23T05:16:00.001-08:00

Now is like third dimension of depth, going into infinity.

You can’t think about it. You can think only about past and future.

Past and future are justthoughts. And now is life itself.

Two completely different categories.

Whenever the thoughts step back, there emerges now.

It is synonym for the awareness, for the presence, for the free space.

And it is there even when the thoughts come; and go;

That is one of the consequences of the no-self realization; Experience ofmore and more pure presence, more being in the action without thethought-interpretations. Thought traffic is slowing down which automaticallymeans more aliveness, more presence in that what is, what presents itself now. Thatmeans generation of useful thoughts serving actual manifestation of life andabsence of thoughts which doesn’t serve life; like thoughts revolvingaround the imaginary self, perpetuating the illusion, that which has no reference on reality.

Feeling of liberation, of surrender to the life flow opens also door forthe love to come in; for that unique feeling, in its simplicity and beauty, inconnecting what needs to be connected, manifesting what needs to be manifested and accepting wholeheartedly what is to come.And it seems always to be more to come...

Truthseeker pointer

2012-02-20T04:10:00.000-08:00

Many say they want the truth.

Andtruth is what is, right now. So you just need to want this what is.

Than atthe same time you always have and are what you want.

If youreally want the truth the search stops right now.

If youthink this what is isn’t the truth,

do youknow exactly what the truth is, how and where it can be found?

If don’tthan you can’t know that this - what is - isn’t truth.

What istrue? How it is defined?

If youthink you know what the truth is, how and where it can be found,

thangood luck with the search!

If itappears anyway to be futile, you can always apply the first mentioned.

Andthere is an option that you don’t want the truth, but something else, whatever- which you might name sometimes as truth.

And it isgood to be honest with that.

And ifyou get it or not,

at anypoint you might still feel something is missing,

you mayapply the first mentioned.

Stepping out of the time

2012-02-17T04:42:00.000-08:00

Peopleoften say that everything comes in its own time.

Andthat fits on the level of the life-story.

Thereis a well known text from the Bible - Thereis a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.

Differentlayers of the reality happen at different paces, on different time scales. Socalled waking state differs from the sleeping state and some other, so calledaltered states, connected with different brain chemistry.

Experiencesin different perception modes seem to require different “amounts of time” forseemingly same events.

Butwaking up out of the story is special from all of them as it requires no time.No time at all.

Onlythinking requires time and if you think you need time to awaken, you arethinking and it means circling in the time and it doesn’t lead to awakening.Never.

Justhonest looking into what is. With no expectations and no resistance. It feels likestepping out into the immovable center.

Thatis stepping out of the thought circle, stepping out of the time; in thepresence of here and now.

Andit is simple. That is child-like, direct experiencing of life.

2012 – Story or evolutionary leap?

2012-02-16T04:47:00.000-08:00

Mayans regarded that life beyond 2012 will be so different that there isno point in counting time beyond this year.

What will be the major change? There are lots of speculations on thistheme.

Natural, climate, technology shifts; Consciousness rising…

All based on changes in cosmic radiations.

Deeper investigations on life always lead to its dependence on differentradiations, on different frequencies. Electromagnetic fields, different colors,different acoustic frequencies all those waves interfere with brainwaves andhormonal glands activities.

Human perception and behavior could be reduced to interactions ofcertain spectrum's.

And as we know huge part of human brain and DNA is unused. So there islots of room for its wider use which might mean a big change in the way weexperience life.

Maybe that is in store in the soon future.

What can be observed from this point now?

Change doesn’t happen automatically, although it is not something we canforce and induce ourselves. It happens through us.

We can let it happen with willingness to see reality, to let the restrictivefilters being removed.

And one of those filters is “I”, separate self.

What once was a mysterious, hidden and rare venture; happening in thedistant, isolated places, inside the secret brotherhoods and institutions now seemsto become open and widely available.

What once was called mystical death, for which candidate had to prepare themselveswith special techniques and to undergo the special initiation rites, now ispossible in a very short time. “I” drops very easily upon seeing that it neverwas real in the first place. Just a thought. Deeply rooted beliefs seem topersist for some time, but where is enough willingness to examine them, thatmight also not be so arduous process but an excitement journey into theunknown.

Unknown once covered out of the fear with beliefs now becomesrediscovered as unknown. Which might be a way to new, real seeing-knowing.

Mind seems to be for the many people ripe enough to twists easily arounditself and sees the illusion of separateness, of subject-object relation inlife experience. Thought patterns also change that way, as lots of thinkinghabits are abandoned as useless.

As more and more people become awake in this way of being, who canpredict what else will become possible.

Maybe really completely new database from the cosmic archives willbecome available for the mind, wholly new range of the experiences willmanifest.

Anyway it seems that this I-era is ending and some new era is dawning.

Still, maybe nothing spectacular is happening.

Just people more honest, more sane, exploring life on a more soundbasis. No more “looking but not seeing, and listening but not understanding”.Humans having courage for the first-hand living instead of second-hand; Notresisting experience, not hiding, not judging. Letting life flow freely.

Presence in NOW and LOOKing

2012-02-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

Lifeis always in now.

But whatprevents our living in now?

Thoughtsabout past and future?

No.

Beliefin thoughts!

Takingthought content for something real and true.

Butwhy? Why it should be true?

Thoughtsare interpretations of reality and without simple natural ability of LOOKing,they become very seductive and dysfunctional. Leading also to dysfunctionalfeelings and various dysfunctional behavioral patterns, all ending in suffering.

So,how to LOOK?

Lookingis most natural, simple way of being. It is way of direct experiencing, with subtlespace between the thoughts and behind the thoughts and feelings.

Lookingis like freeing the sky from the clouds, not by removing the clouds with somemagical spell, but freeing it by allowing them to fly freely on the sky. Becauseclouds are no treat to the sky. They are just passengers. And sky stays.

Lookingmeans looking within, not by doing any special practice, meditation or prayer,just simple looking into what is, with closed or opened eyes into the objects,thoughts, feelings whatever comes into experience. Into the actual experience,diving deep into it. Zooming in and out, in stillness and in movement.

LOOKingleads to seeing and examining beliefs; First of all belief in separateentities. And first among them separate “me”.

Whereis the border between the “me” and the rest of the experience?

Onthe skin, on the earth edge, or some other edge?

Thereis none.

Feelingthe presence, feeling the aliveness here and now are only truths from ourdirect experiencing. Feeling non-personality of it and clear seeing that thereis no separate entity, no separate doer is stepping out of the time, out of thethought loops and it feels like united awakening of mind and heart.

Lifeis complex, but very simple for living without obsessive attempts of mind tosimplify it and substitute it with the concepts.

Thatis why awakened life is called also life lived from the heart.

Actuallyit is life in its original expression, life from the eternal void.

Clearing and opening

2012-02-08T09:52:00.000-08:00

Is life ordinary or extraordinary?

Is there more to everyday reality?

Is awakened state special or natural? Where it leadsto?

Silence.

Maybe it is preparation for blossom of new life.

Like winter before the spring.

And what now?

When you don’t believe anymore in little self, in the“voice within”, hidden commentator of the life game, complaining aboutexperiences and judging them.

That burden has been dropped.

But still you are sitting on the covered box full ofunknown mind- conditions and patterns, still being part of the life game.

And freedom asks you to open it. You can’t sit foreveron it. What would be then the point of liberation?

Afraid or not. Open that Pandora's Box.

And keep it open to be sure that everything gathered therecome out;

Also the hope if any left. Hope for what, hope forwhom?

Hope is a symptom of non-acceptance of actualexperience.

See what hides the hope. What is being resisted rightnow? Let it come out.

Let all the forces play their game in open.

Not everything will need to be examined. Something canbe just with gladness seen on leaving. But something might stay stuck insidefor some time. Deep human beliefs; Accumulated through many lifetimes,generations.

Something might just need to be rehabilitated and usedin a new way.

Rule is as ever - be present in direct experience,here and now.

In actual reality of flowing life. From there is onlypossible to see clearly all containing polarities of the life, because it is a neutralpoint without polar counterpart. Only from there pure, authentic life forcescould be authentically expressed. That is living from presence in now, lifewithout centre, without self.

How to know if life is still steered form the oldbelief and not from the free center? From thought clouds instead from the clearsky?

Honesty.

Honesty is a clearing mechanism.

Honesty is a key word for the new era, for theawakened, post-self era.

Always look in direct experience and put the all oldconcepts in test.

And let them stay till you are not sure that they areof no use anymore.

Stop denying experiences.

Stop seeking for a better experience.

Just dig dipper into the current one.

Are “you” “having” problems?

Or there is an effortless flow through what is.

Old habit for pursuing happiness, pursuit of certain happeningsis always just avoidance, denial ofactual experience; Thoughts leading the way instead the void.

The moment you see the difference, moment you get it –it is cleared. One little “demon” less in the box.

You don’t need a guidance of some master in this.

It is natural enfoldment with honesty and courage.Trust it goes in a good way.

Explore whatever really resonates. Points of resonanceare points of maximum energy which enable optimal experiences and further break-troughsinto the reality. Through the gate of here and now.

Life Line

2012-02-06T02:42:00.000-08:00

There was an Italian cartoon La Linea that features a man (known as "Mr. Linea") drawn as a single outline around his silhouette, walking on an infinite line of which he is a part. The character encounters obstacles and often turns to the cartoonist, represented as a live-action hand holding a white grease pencil, to draw him a solution, with various degrees of success. One recurring obstacle was an abrupt end of the line. The character would often almost fall off the edge into oblivion and get angry with the cartoonist and complain about it.

Many people behave like Mr. Linea. Shadow creature, trapped in a storycharacter bumping on the obstacles and complaining about them. Asking for thesolution from the “god” asking for the attention of the others. And as 2Dbeing, walking on the virtual line made of the same material as the character,there is always a treat of ending, end of the world.

That is the worst fear of all, end of my world. Unimaginable horror!

Similarly human being lives his life when trapped in self- made delusion, in thoughts.
Enormous energy has been spent on connecting the dots of life manifestations into a story, into a subject, an imagined character and all the objects and events constituting his life line.

Sometimes story goes very well and Mr. Linea is singing cheerfully, butsuddenly something unexpected happens.And he is surprised, excited, than angry, frustrated, complaining to his creator.Sometimes he just can’t see the line going any further.

But every ending, every sudden event, obstacle can be used for waking upout of the human life-story. Before the life line finally ends.

That burst of energy can be used for seeing things clearly; For seeingthoughts as thoughts, not reality.

Biggest misunderstanding people made is equalizing feeling of aliveness,of presence with the thought of “me”, “I” as of being some subject to whichlife happens, which has its own life.

But is it so, or it is just a story we are telling ourselves? When life just flows. When formless spiritjust manifests through the forms?

“Who would you be without your story?

There is no story which is you or which leads to you. All stories leadaway from you.”

Byron Katie

Seek what is real, what lefts when there is no story.

What is there even when there are no thoughts about that?

Harmony

2012-01-30T02:39:00.000-08:00

Jesus said, “God is Light,” and noman of that day knew what he meant. The day is now here when all men must knowwhat Jesus meant when He said: “God is Light”.

Walter Russell

Doyou know now what Jesus meant when he said what he said?

Whatis god? What is light?

Dothose words sound intriguing?

Actually,W. Russell speaks about the nature of the perceived phenomena and aboutuniversal connection between all phenomena and men in a mixedmystical-scientific way. He explains wave, light-wave, as a basic principle ofthe universe and balance as a main law.

But,point might not be so much in words “god is light” as in the possibility to reallyknow something, to be sure about it. To have first hand instead of second hand experience;Instead of believing and trying to cope with all the holy scriptures and/orscientific, philosophical theories and to fit them into your life.

Whatis use of all the truth when you try to fit it into a false frame? What is useof knowing the result, when you are not able to do the math?

Nowit seems that really dawns the day when we don’t need concepts and parabolasabout life or god, or anything else, to tell us how we should live.

Weneed to know. And not just to think. There is a difference.

Weneed direct experience; direct enlightment. We can finally take that step.

Butit is, at least in the beginning, step into the unknown.

Stepinto the admitting not-knowing instead of pretending to know something.Especially to know who we are and why we are and what we should or shouldn’tdo.

Itis time to move on, on our own.

Butfirst you have to jump into the abyss.

Ground we are standing on is anyway going to fall down sooner or later; because we arestanding on the false premise that there is “us”. That there is – “me”, “I”, “mine”.

Andit is not so that we can all at once discard everything old and start anew.When we jump and fall down things will leave us on its own accord.

Moreor less programmed patterns, through the past learned responses on the stimuli,thoughts and feelings.

Butonly so if we jump; if we dare to go down the rabbit hole and to permit freefall. Free means without attempt to make it slower or faster. But leave it natural,according to the equation of balance between attraction and repulsion forces,between old and new, which adjusts dynamically and harmoniously as we arefalling.

Jumpis taking one step at the time beyond the time. That means coming into thepresence of now. Into here and now where happens direct experience of our lifeinto which we want to investigate the nature of life and god and light andwhatever might still be the questions of our life.

Tosee what were behind the concepts and to release them. To see what was behindour search for meaning and also release what needs to be released.

Thatmeans being honest and having courage to look into that experience, rightthrough the thoughts and feelings which are intrinsic part of the experience,but not anymore controllers of them.

Thatreleases old trapped energy labeled with thoughts as negative feelings, as fearor grief, or whatever may come up.

Soyou can finally feel and express what is really there. Without suppression, withoutrunning away, without acting as there is some I–entity to be protected.

Thereis connection between belief in the thoughts, in the story they narrate and thetime - past and future. They exist together, as mind-made up. But not for real.

Inreality there is only now. Which you can not think about, just live it. Be aunique expression of it, of life itself. It is an exit out of the timedelusion.

Thereare no more little “you” and “me” standing alone in the universe trying toconnect, to understand. That begins to fade away.

Nomore you. What lefts is one big experience, nothing outside of it.

Thatis a real perception shift.

Isthere a god?

Allbecomes irrelevant. All concepts become irrelevant.

Realityfinally comes in. Or it is god, or light; light of the real knowing, gnosis? Howeveryou call it.

Butthat’s the beginning of a really new way of life in which exists only listeningof the eternal law of resonation on which seems to tests the universe; Universalharmony or love. By which you follow that which resonates with you, with yourmicrocosm and you are moving through that space where there are no past norfuture, neither artificial rationalization and imagination of the I-doer attemptingto control life flow.

Youknow there is no mistake and that everything is in accord with that same lawwhich everything keeps together. By which all heavenly bodies, microcosms andmacrocosms safely fly through the endless eternity. According to whicheverything join together and goes apart in eternal dance. In which allimaginable and unimaginable opposites in final sum equal to zero. One eternalemptiness-fullness in which everything disappears and appears.

Youknow that nothing ever becomes part of your experience if it doesn’t belongthere.

Sothe war ends slowly with what is and begins peaceful exploring of life inharmony with flow of nameless Tao.

Attractionand repulsion process unfolds automatically on the periphery, while from thecenter spreads free space in which rests unspeakable. Without I-belief in thecenter of the experience balance restores naturally.

Andthere begins real authenticity; Being in accordance with universal Tao meansbeing in harmony with yourself.

Thereis a feeling of joy because of being part of the universal current which flowslike a wave in which nothing exist separately, but one manifests as many, wavingthe perfect tapestry of life.

“Two things there are not in Myuniverse. There is but Me.

Everything that is is of every otherthing that is. Nothing is of itself alone. All things are indissolubly united.”

“For I am Balance. And I am Energy,and I am Rest. I am the Light of Love and Truth. Upon that foundation have Ilaid the cornerstone of My universe. Behold in Me the One, inseparable. “

Walter Russell

Seeking

2012-01-27T11:46:00.000-08:00

„…Where did Icome from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there...”

Who SaysWords with My Mouth,
Jalal al-Din Rumi

Youknow that feeling of strangeness and alienation from the world around You knowtoo for many hours spent in asking and looking inside and outside. And you knowthat determines to find the answer to life, to solve the confusion, to quenchthat thirst within.
“…Theday is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear, who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?
Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste one sip of an answer,
I could break out of this prison for drunks.
I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me will have to take me back.“

Who SaysWords with My Mouth,
Jalal al-Din Rumi

You know the day when you had to give up all the so called knowledge andadmit complete not-knowing.

When you knocked harder and harder on the door with question - who am I? - Almost screaming it.

There was no answer.

But something began to dawn on you. Like light coming through the hiddentiny hole.

As those words: I, me, mine,were spoken something clicked.

What do they mean?

Can’t be?!

Nothing is mine. Never were.

Nobody is there. Just thoughts, just beliefs.

Never before questioned, as if it was normal that there is some separateentity having its’ own life.

What a mistake!

After deep wander silence comes in.

And the prison starts to fall dawn.

Yes, one who made prison have to destroy it.

And let the soul, let the freedom be free.

Taking off the „I“- glasses

2012-01-25T02:52:00.000-08:00

Here goes the story.

At some point in your childhood to youwere handed specific “I”-glasses.

Everyone around were wearing them too.And they were supposed to help you see some things and communicate with otherhuman beings. They might have been necessary for sometime, but they were notintended to be there all the time. And what happened is that you have never takenthem off even when you didn’t need them and finally you forgot you have ones.And even worse you forget they are not part of you.

As a consequence perception of the realityaround you became more and more distorted by the “I”-glasses.

And at some point you noticed somethingis wrong, but couldn’t find what exactly.

And you began to search and to look forthe answer.

And at some point it might down on you,or someone told you to try to look without the glasses.

If you were told so, you might have experiencedwonder that it is at all possible to take off the glasses, so much you wereaccustomed to it.

Or you might have thought you wouldn’tbe able too see anything without it.

But you might be pretty desperate aboutyour life, or whatever was the reason, you might have dared to do unimaginable,to take off the glasses.

And you have been blown away!

So much light hurts unaccustomed eyes.

But it was so liberating.

No more glasses. And you can see. Withyour own eyes.

What you see now is pretty differentfrom what you have seen before.

Not everything. But it seems thatscenery changes slowly as you get more used to look without “I”-glasses. Seems thatwhole change is not possible all at once.

Well, now you not sure about things yousee and they meaning. They were not seen before. Glasses were like imitators,like filters that narrowed perceivable light spectrum.

You would like to go and scream on thestreet to tell the people to take off their “I”-glasses. But it doesn’t workthat way and you might be trying to find some more sophisticated ways to tellthe truth you discovered.

You might want to discover how it allstarted with glasses and why? Did some people before done the same and whatwere they experiences. How to navigate now through life? There seems to be lotsof possibilities and much to be discovered in this new way of life.

Without “I”-glasses. Yes, it is possibleto go around without them.

Yes, it is scary sometimes and you wouldlike to put them again; But no, not really. This is new and exciting and youwant to explore it further. And there is more and more people taking off their“I” –glasses.

Here might be beginning whole new world.

Meister Eckhart

2012-01-23T06:40:00.000-08:00

Some quotes from medieval mystic which in terms of godand soul speaks about liberation and no-self experience. About simple, yet unspeakable truth of life beyond the concept.

„Some people despise the little things of life. It istheir mistake, for they thus prevent themselves from getting God’s greatnessout of these little things. God is every way, evenly in all ways, to him whohas the eyes to see. But sometimes it is hard to know whether one's inclinationscome from God or not, but that can be decided this way: if you find your selfalways possessed of a knowledge or intimation of God's will, which you obeybefore everything else, because you feel urged to obey it and the urge isfrequent, then you may know that it is from God. Some people want to recognizeGod only in some pleasant enlightenment -- and then they get pleasure andenlightenment but not God.... therefore we ought to expect God in all mannersand all things evenly.... whatever the way that leads you most frequently toawareness of God, follow that way; and if another way appears, different fromthe first, and you quit the first and take the second, and the second works, itis all right. It would be nobler and better, however, to achieve rest andsecurity through evenness, by which one might take God and enjoy him in anymanner, and anything, and not have to deal they can hunt around for yourspecial way: that has been my joy! To this end all kinds of activities maycontribute and any work may be a help; but if it does not, let it go!
-------

All creatures are pure nothing. I do not say that theyare at least a little something but that they are pure nothing, because nocreature has being.
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The soul must abandon her own being. This is where thedeath that is spiritual begins. If the soul is to undergo this death, then shemust take leave of herself and all things, holding herself and all things to beas insignificant as they were before they existed…. For to die, properlyunderstood, is nothing other than the cessation of all that is. I do not meanthat the being of the soul falls into [mere] nothingness… rather we shouldunderstand this cessation to be the eradication of possessing and having. Herethe soul forsakes all things, God and all creatures. Of course, it soundsastonishing to say that the soul should forsake God, but … the soul must existin a free nothingness. That we should forsake God is altogether what Godintends, for as long as the soul has God [in a possessive way], knows God [as aconcept] and is aware of God [as an object], she is far from God. This then isGod’s desire—that God should reduce Himself to nothing in the soul so that thesoul may lose herself. For the fact that God is called God comes fromcreatures. When the soul was a creature, she had a God, and then as she losther createdness, God remained for Himself as He is. And this is the greatesthonor that the soul can pay to God, to leave God to Himself and to be free ofHim. This is how we should understand the smallest [final] death which the soulundergoes in order to become divine. Such people go virtually unknown…. Thesepeople are turned outwards to all in divine life and in complete openness in away that is beyond their control…. Thus she [the soul] dies her highest death….This spirit [soul] is dead and is buried in the Godhead, for the Godhead livesas no one other than Itself…. She and God are a single blessedness and a singlekingdom….. Here the soul and the Godhead are one, and here the soul hasdiscovered that she herself is the kingdom of God.
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When the soul enters the light that is pure, she fallsso far from her own created somethingness into her nothingness that in thisnothingness she can no longer return to that created somethingness by her ownpower.
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To the extent that you eliminate self from youractivities, God comes into them…
--------------

Truth is something so noble that if Godcould turn aside from it, I could keep the truthand let God go“

Eden-fall-return

2012-01-17T01:22:00.000-08:00

Deep in human consciousness is a myth about humanfall, about exile form paradise.

It means that there is like remembrance on some otherstate in which there was no division, i.e. no separate self(s). That originalway of being could be called soul state based on eating fruits of the tree oflife. So there was one life bearing fruits and sustaining its manifoldmanifestations.

But humanity seems to had to go the way of developingsome additional tool, additional agency, additional characteristic, which couldbe called reason.

And it seems that it included going from the abundanceto the confinements and limitation. Necessary or not, it went that way.

And so the both poles of humanity, male and femaleeaten from the tree of polarity, of judgment, of good and evil. And thereasoning began to develop.

And the state of unity, of no-self, where experiencedas naked state which had to be covered by something. So the development of thefalse self began.

We can see those phases reflected in the developmentfrom the child to the so called adult human. But it is just in most caseslosing of the spontaneity and innocence of soul life, of direct experiencing ofnatural life and resisting it with over-thinking, thus serving god of thought,false god, i.e. false self.

But the time comes, must come, when there are enough ofthose experiences, enough suffering, enough not-authenticity, enough eatingfrom the tree of good and evil and light begins to shine through in the humanexperience.

Like a silent sentence which resounds through thehuman being – everything returns to its source.

Everything comes to its place. Real to real, unreal tounreal.

You hear: There is no you.

And you look and see: really there is no me. Neverwas.

It was just a thought, like a shadow, like an echo.

Eyes not adjusted to light can’t yet see properly, youblink, you stumble, but whatever is done, thought, felt, you know it from nowon to be a passing part of a grand experience. Which happens to none.

The way back to the innocence of Eden begins. And beginning is already end,because there is no time. Time is just a concept for the movement of life;Which happens always and only here - in now.

And you start eagerly to look what is really going onnow in this human experiences. And you see more and more. You feel what comes,whatever comes. You don’t reason, don’t hide in mental concepts. Unnecessarybaggage is dropped.

You see how mind labels experiences and as you look atit the wheel slows down; Creating more free space.

Energyis released from unnecessary thinking and redirected where it is needed; Wherethe life needs it for further unfolding in the right direction, back to thesource, to paradise, to infinity.

"When the utmost emptiness has been reached, imperishable tranquility is maintained.
All things are born together; I see them return again.
All things flower abundantly, then each of them returns to the source.
To return to the source is called being at peace. To be at peace is called returning to true eternal life.
To return to life I call being everlasting."

(Tao Te Ching, ch. 16)

One in two, two in one

2012-01-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

Angels on thesideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.

Don't these talking monkeys know that
Eden has enoughto go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly old monkeys,
Where there's one you're bound to divide it - Right in two
---
Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose.
---
How they survived so misguided is a mystery…

(Tools, Right in two)

----

Man is microcosm - Miniature of cosmos.

Made in God's image.

Part of the big hologram.

So it could be.

Ray of light, soul, created from spirit, universallight, like an angels, but with specific task, with the task of going throughthe special human experience.

Just like in hologram. One ray stays “pure” notreflected by the object, the one is reflected and they together formholographic image of the object.

So is the human experience combination of the purewitness and experiencer on the plate of consciousness.

Sometimes it feels like one, sometimes like the other.But there is both together making experience of the 3D world possible.

Though in reality there is no separate entity behindthe experience.

Human is neither of it.

There is just emanation of light from the projector,god, universal mind.

What it means for you right now?

Is it observable in direct experience?

Either you believe that you are a creature developedfrom the monkey by natural process of evolution or that you are descended spiritualbeing, something like fallen angel, either with the task to develop further orto come back to the spiritual source, to god, whatever be your belief orfeeling about broader perspective there is actual experience of being here andnow.

Nice, comfortable, or uncomfortable and painful. Howeverit is in this moment, there is perception of the body, feelings; there arethoughts.

And it is all that is.

Isn’t it so?

No separate entity or entities, except created inthoughts and just as thoughts.

Isn’t that so?

Just life. Incomprehensible, breath taking experienceof life.

Play of consciousness;

Can you say who are you - player or the play or theplayed?

If there is border, where is it?

Free will is only apparently free. Because thoughtdoesn’t control the experience. They follow it. Even when it seemed reversed.

But there is input - output response. There is feelingof free flow of life, or of resistance.

Humans seemed to be misguided for so long about whothey are, or who they are not. Believing in brain-god, in thoughts, walkinglike zombies. Captured in the story.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Look and see for yourself!

Thoughts label, explain, complain...that is their never-endingstory. They divide one in two, three, four,…many.

But, look and see there is no two, just one.

One consciousness waking up in this very moment.

Unlimited idea of freedom

2012-01-13T01:03:00.000-08:00

„Each of us is in truth an idea of the Great Gull,an unlimited idea of freedom“

Jonathan Livingston Seagull,Richard Bach

Does thisresonate?

What ifit is true?

But the ideacould be manifested and it isn’t yet. And it can’t be till there isidentification with the limited self.

Thoughtabout individual self, so called “I” might be a natural consequence of ourexistence, of body-mind system and its experience, but the belief in itsreality, in it being our true identity is not so natural, although it becamewide spread. And it is not at all necessary and it can be seen as such andabandoned.

Now - ifyou are ready.

If youfor a while step out of your thought-circle by looking into a nice scenery, on walkingin the nature, while doing some art work, or whatever be the catalyst, you feellike you are stepping into another dimension through the self-forgetfulness,because you get taste of what it means not to be identified with the thoughts,with many different facets of the story of “you”; It is known experience, butit usually doesn’t last long and there is again same old pattern of “you” and sameold story. Might feel as known and comfortable, but sooner or later feelslimiting and sometimes might become suffocating. Because however the storymight be pleasant sometimes, it is not so all the time and it causes a feelingof being confined, oppressed and put somewhere where you do not want to be.

You feellike something is wrong. And embark on the search; of whatever kind.

Somepeople spend their whole lives looking outside, chasing their own tail, forevertrapped in the vicious circle of thoughts. Some become really tortured andeaten alive by the thoughts. Never realizing that they are trapped just in thechalk circle, nothing more.

But what reallyhappens here? What can be done?

When youlook inside it begins to dawn on you what that illusory circle is made of andthat there is really no border between inside and outside.

It beginsto dawn on you that you are not “you”, but it is just a story. And that truthbreaks through illusion whenever it is possible; so it is not you going fromone state into another, but it is reality expressing itself. And it is just againthought based on belief in reality of “I-though” that claims all the experiences.And because temporary freedom from belief in “I” feels good there is a thought“I want to feel it again and always”. But the same old pattern that claims thatis the very obstacle; is the one preventing full expression of freedom.

What amess!

What is reallyreal here?

What arelife and world based on?

Infinitemind is all that is! Some call it Spirit!

Some callit light, presence, eternal now or Tao.

Tao whichcan not be named, nor spoken about. So it doesn’t matter what it is and how itis called. Concept of it doesn’t matter.

It is. Itexists and it creates. It dreams, thinks, imagines, makes happen.

Me, you,and everything else being played here and now. And it is just for a momentbefore it comes something else, some other play. Some other kind ofexperiencing, perceiving, reacting, responding, forever moving.

So, letit happen, whatever it is. Don’t stick to the beliefs.

If thereis fear, let it be. Feel it, see it, see the belief in the limited, separateexistence. See it as it is. Belief. Chalk circle.

And seewhat comes next.

Dare tostep out? And to flow with Tao?

Is there anythingto lose, except the illusion about who you are, or who you should be?

What is vs. what isn't

2011-12-26T05:07:00.000-08:00

If you look at the picture

You can see objects like vase, roses, grapes, put on some wall and the background behind.

That is what is on the picture. There are also some details which could be described additionally.

Actually it is a picture, 2D representation of the 3D objects which the painter looked at while painting.

It is important to have clear insight into difference between the different categories of the perceived reality, difference between different levels of realities because mind is often blurred and doesn’t distinguish such differences and often masks perceived by the thoughts about it.

As well as you might enjoy this picture and got inspired by it has to be clear to you that it is a picture someone painted when saw the real roses; Which he could also touch and smell. And we appreciate when someone can make pictures that match very well with the reality; with what we can see in 3D perspective. And more so if we than notice some details we didn’t by ourselves while looking into the reality.

Same goes for writing and other arts widening and deepening or horizons.

It is also the same in science, philosophy and spirituality, which should be helping each other through our human experience to see - what is going on. What happens and in which manner; and what is really real and what is imagination and what is all mixed here in this we call man and humanity. And if you want to trace the causes for the suffering and best ways to deal with it, that is the way; First steps are looking for the right discrimination between what is and what we imagine to be. Be into spirituality, or philosophy, or science, or all together, or even nothing - it is anyway about being human. About being the part of the life here and now; what you can not deny.

It is and you can do nothing but flow now, the best you can. Consciously or unconsciously, knowing the rules or not.

And upon seeing beautiful picture you might want to see the real roses, to touch them, to smell them. And that is exactly what you need to do - to look and to see, experience for yourself. And you need to begin from the beginning.

To look with fresh eyes, inside and outside, and check if there is really a border between those two; between inner and outer; what divides them and how real it is, if it is.

Where is the beginning and where is the end of the things, of the life, of the actual experience, here and now; How it flows; Where are the edges, how smooth or sharp they are.

And this looking and seeing is not just looking with the eyes, it is not thinking, nor feeling, it is prior to them and it is natural human faculty, obscured by the exaggerated, non-discriminatory thought faculty. But it is still here and available if you discover it again beneath the endless loops of thoughts and it can be used and it can tell if asked - what is and what isn’t. It might lead you to the real roses.

Who are you (not)?

2011-12-20T05:32:00.000-08:00

You can sit inside of the imagined world of thoughts believing them to be real; to be your life.

You live in your story and believe in it, in you, in the character in it.

But than someone tells you that it is not real. Or you just read it. Or somehow it comes to you.

That there is a door, you can go through and check for yourself that what you believed to be true world, your world, is not real. Sounds unbelievable, but you gather some curiosity and courage and you look.

And really there is a door and you dare to open the door and – Wow!!!

What is this?! Feel little bit dizzy, nor sure if you are in a nightmare or in a lightmare.

New view is a bit scary, but you feel also the freshness of the unknown. And you feel alive as never before.

And free.

You are not you who you think you are, who you thought you were. Not at all.

You are not.

It is something quite different if it is something. Beyond concepts. Aliveness itself.

If it feels good and inspiring, check for yourself!

Here are few hints.

It is not you doing the actual thinking. It happens, comes and goes. Check it!

What feels like you is not you, it is just known feeling connected with the thought of “I”. It is like glue that connects experiences in the story of you; but has no substantial reality. Check it!

There is nothing you call “you” with continual substantial reality. What is always there, constant in every experience, is not you and it is not personal at all. Check it!

Happiness and self

2011-12-17T00:43:00.000-08:00

Alchemy of real life

2011-12-15T03:02:00.000-08:00

Once I felt like an Alice in Wonderland that lost and scared asks caterpillar for the help and get the answer: „ I can't help you if you don't even know who you are, stupid girl…“

Who am I?

Who - am - I?

And I became obsessed with that question.

Asked by the caterpillar who is she, Alice answers: In the morning when I woke up, I might have known who am I, but since than I changed several times…”

Well, yes, it was something like that.

Since I thought of myself as myself, that “me” changed so much time trying to fit into the all that was happening around and it became pretty exhausting.

Who-am-I?

Lots of beautiful and serious models came along, but no, no. All were just concepts. Nothing real; nothing alive.

And again – Who – am –I?

Too many possibilities – body, mind, ego, soul, spirit,… and lots of bla, bla, bla…

But life stayed a life always moving, flowing, simply life-ing - alive beyond all concepts.

And I didn’t know how I fit in that flow. And I really had had to figure it out.

What is going on here?

And as if all the mist and fog and confusion and pain and frustration ever experienced balled into a mighty fiery ball heading with ever greater velocity toward that wall of ignorance and unconsciousness and ….broke through the wall, through the veil, through the gateless gate into a … what?

Great void, emptiness, nothing.

Is it possible? So simple. Too simple.

But it was felt as a truth. Like nothing before. It must be so.

Equation has been solved.

Just by subtracting the I.

Checking again.

But, yes. There is no I. And never was. Just a thought-story.

Collapsing now. Into something real.

Once I was thinking about real meaning of the alchemy. Of making something important, precious out of something unimportant and ordinary. As “my” life. As if it was mine.

Now it becomes clear.

Imagined I, having no substance, having no existence in reality was chasing it, meaning and confirmation.

And if there is a meaning behind the alchemy it is this deconstruction of that imagined story of the I and all the developed conditioned patterns of responses to the life and releasing that energy for the authentic and creative usage of the life.

Like confessing of the awakening experience and letting it spread further.

And again Alice.

Alice rebels: „But I don’t want to go among mad people".

Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'

'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.

'You must be,” said the Cat. 'Or you wouldn’t have come here.'

So here we are. Trying to cut through this humanity’s madness.

Descartes famous statement - I think, therefore I am- seems to be very invention of this insanity, of great confusion between real and fictional.

But, nevertheless truth is looking into us, directly. It is up to us to dare not to close our eyes. Only by awakening and realizing firstly that we are not we can go further as humanity through the process of transformation from the caterpillar into a butterfly.

And undoing our deeply anchored beliefs and concepts and going into the direct experience of life could be the real meaning of real alchemy.

Push yourself

2011-12-12T04:45:00.000-08:00

"It is your show. It is your universe.
There is no one else here, just you,
and nothing is being withheld from you.
You are completely on your own.
Everything is available for direct knowing.
No one else has anything you need.
No one else can lead you, pull you, push you or carry you."

Jed McKenna

Is this true?

Check it! Dare to check for yourself.

How? Where? Inside, outside?

It is only one big here and now. Where are you?

First you need to come in here&now. And to look!

Than you see! There are no you.

Emptiness in the middle. Around which is everything.

Whole amazing universe, play of life, to bee seen, perceived, felt, played.

Wake up!

“The you that you think of as you (and that thinks of you as you, and so on) is not you, it’s just the character that the underlying truth of you is dreaming into brief existence. Enlightenment isn’t in the character, it’s in the underlying truth.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a dream character, of course, unless it’s your goal to wake up, in which case the dream character must be ruthlessly annihilated. If your desire is to experience transcendental bliss or supreme love or altered states of consciousness or awakened kundalini, or to quality for heaven, or to liberate all sentient beings, or simply to become the best dang person you can be, then rejoice!, you’re in the right place: the dream state, the dualistic universe. However, if your interest is to cut the crap and figure out what’s true, then you’re in the wrong place and you’ve got a very messy fight ahead and there’s no point in pretending otherwise.”

Jed McKenna

Wake up!

White Dominican

2011-12-06T02:12:00.000-08:00

“There is no fundamental difference between the preparation for death and the practice of dying, and spiritual practice leading to enlightenment.”

Stanislav Grof

Well, here we are with death and enlightenment.

Life is about dying. Preparation for dying is a spiritual practice. Spiritual practice is preparation for dying.

Looking for enlightenment is looking for death; Death of I; Death of the personal story; Death of believing in it.

And there is Christian saying – if you want to live, you have to die.

This process is greatly described in Gustav Meyrink’s novel The White Dominican.

In which main character faces his human experience in authentic, intense and honest way and gets transformed through real inner dying.

As some intense, deep experience, seeing no self in real life is a powerful catalyst of this ego-dying process. Separate self dying is a process in which all personal and collective delusions are being annihilated. Life continues as on auto pilot during this process; Process which is led by some greater impersonal force, named in the novel as White Dominican. It becomes expressed through you when old, imagined you is gone, emptied.

See the truth.

Get into the fire; despite the fear.

Nothing real can burn; Just unreal.

And freedom is on the other side of the fire.

Being and not-being

2011-12-04T06:28:00.000-08:00

„Both being and not being spring from the same source but differ in their goals and effects. Both are full of mystery and this mystery is the gate unto life. “

Tao Te Ching

Something can be expressed fully in words only if it lies within the limits of the experience of duality. Our language is not capable to express non-duality, as it is a duality tool, but it can convey some of the original meaning.

Tao Te Ching is all about transmitting no-self or not-being into the words, connecting it with the being; Connecting two dimensions of human reality.

“The vase has been molded from clay,

but only because of its empty space is it of use”.

Tao Te Ching

So the human.

There is the body instrument of human experience, but the real source and ability for experience lies in the emptiness; Original emptiness, from which all perceptions come into being. And being itself.

There is something in Tao Te Ching that Lao Tse names -the mysterious virtue.

It is about discovering “hidden” reality of no self. After which the emptying of the imaginary patterns made of thoughts and feelings, covering delusion of separate self begins and develops, more or less fast.

It is like after believing in your life story, story of the person XY you have begun to suspect something is not right and after a lots of seeking and looking for the diagnosis of your state and its resolution you came upon a hidden spring. Upon a tool to look and check the reality of your identity.

You strike a rock and the spring gushes open. You looked and saw. No-self.

And what then?

And the water flows on its way. The life flows as ever, but the water becomes clearer and goes with more fluidity.

In the eyes of the world, you remain more or less the same - lady or gentlemen XY. But you are no longer there. “You” is no longer there.

Well, you know that in never was, actually.

There is some sense of the old I.

It is like the old I is observing the new development from a corner, as an interested party who nonetheless exerts no influence on the proceedings. Mysterious virtue.

"Who are you brother?

Who are you sister?"

"We are no one!"

Yet, we live. And we behold the miracle of never beginning and never-ending life stream – Tao; moving with It on it’s very edge. Mysterious virtue.

Awakening/Liberation/Enlightenment -Now-

2011-12-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

If you would know what enlightenment, liberation or awakening exactly is, what would it mean to you? Would it be of any help?

Knowing the result, without knowing how to the math, for sure wouldn't be enough.

So you have to do the math on your own.

And first there is a first step that has to be done.

Sapere aude! Said Kant.

But there is nothing impossible which is requested from you. You are just very, very confused and afraid, entangled in the thoughts since you knew for your self, so nothing seems to be clear for you.

To be honest you have no idea who you are. Even if you have asked that question you have ended with some concepts given form someone else.

And those concepts might have been helpful for some time, giving you seemingly firm point, but not for too long. And how it could be?

How everything started in the first place?

As far as you know, with your birth. Then begun the story; you have been launched into the human, life drama. But in some moment you had enough of that drama in which you play main role, but not with your will and without influence on the scenario. You didn’t see the meaning of it all, and meaning should be in it, at least that was your reasoning.

So you wanted to step out of it in some real world, into the light. You became seeker, seeker for the way out. How it looks like - that real world - you don’t know, but you are sure that such world has to exist, world which is quite fit for you, exact reflection of your longing for it.

So you entered the world of spirituality which should have been some sort of the bridge toward that perfect world.

And there you got the information how that perfect world looks like, and what is more important – how you could come there. And that mysterious way as you came to know implied you change. Your adjustment to that world for which you might have been told that already is present here and now, but you can not perceived it, because you don’t satisfy its conditions.

So you begin with lots of different praxis’s and methods, which lead to that glorious state, mostly known (but not exclusively) as enlightenment, liberation or awakening.

On that way you experienced lots of chances and mischance’s and it seemed to you that you really change. More or less in accordance with what has been told you how it should be.

But, sooner or later, you notice how your aim always stays out of your reach, admit it or not. You begin to feel as if you are standing in front of the wall, or as if you are chasing your tail. Which is not such a good feeling.

Let’s suppose that you are honest with yourself and that you don’t want to impose upon yourself so you make an honest examination.

Are you doing something wrongly?

Maybe you don’t follow the directions of your teacher, your school or teaching in right way?

Or maybe you just need little more patience and give some more time to all that.

And you continue with your way. In dream of course.

But where is the problem? You want to wake up, to know your self, or however you call it in your terminology!

Problem is that you don’t exist!

And never did.

And it is not a mistake.

You have read this rightly.

So, your problem didn’t begin with your birth, i.e. with the birth of your body.

Problem begun when you started identification with body-mind, that means with the thoughts and senses which accompanied functioning of this system and begun to create the story of “your” self ad “your” world.

Than you begun to feel that something was wrong and embarked into the search for the meaning and resolution of the problem. Search which is still going on – now, in this moment itself.

And you can’t believe that you don’t exist.

But that is the fact. So, no need to believe.

Just to look for yourself.

Everyone can and needs to see it for himself/herself.

Of course doesn’t have to. Everyone can continue “his/he” own way.

But let’s suppose that those words aroused some interest in you. Something in you, although faintly, has resounded.

And you think:

but of course that I exist.

My name is so and so, I work this and that, and you continue to name all you think you know about your self.

Ok, I am not body, I am something more, I am the one that inhabits this body, I am the soul that thinks all those thoughts.

Famous sentence – I think, therefore I am!
But much closer to the truth would be - I am not, therefore, I don't think! There are thoughts.

And thoughts go one, by one. But there are just thoughts. Nothing else.

Suppose you begin to understand and become aware of the experience here and now. And “there” you seek and try to find arguments for your existence.

So, you are just sitting in front of the computer and reading this text.

But the fact is - that there is a body that sits, eyes looking, brain processing what has been read; thoughts and feelings come and go again.

Experience which contains everything and there is nothing outside of it.

Mind fence itself from unpleasant truth – that there is no need for the experiencer behind the experience. That there is none who is controlling this experience and directing it according to his will.

But after focused moment of attention, it becomes obvious. Perspective is forever changed.

And if you have collected enough courage for that first step, you have already stepped on the way with no return!

Welcome!

Zero-sum

2011-11-26T10:13:00.000-08:00

“And I guess I just wanted to tell you, as the light starts to fade,
That you are the reason that I am not afraid.
And I guess I just wanted to mention, as the heavens will fall,
We will be together soon if we will be anything at all.

…”

Fear of death, fear of no-existence.

Can you imagine your own death? Maybe you can imagine and try also to feel death of the body. But, can you image no-presence; Ending of the existence, life, awareness?

Not possible.

What is – is. And what isn’t- isn’t.

Body with its thoughts and feelings will pass. For that we have evidence. We see that people die.

Why the thought on death is so terrifying? Why memento mori is connected with the feeling of fear?

Because man doesn’t know who is he; or more exactly doesn’t know that he is not.

There is a story and character in it, but behind them is no one. Just one, ever present – presence, same for all. Called also life, light, awareness.

Same one that is breathing through the body “you” call yours, looking through the eyes as “you” read this. Life incarnated, embodied. Living, never dying.

If you see this, you step out of the story that goes on, that you retell yourself, over and over. And you see, the story goes on. Just without you.

Life flows freely.

Than again come thoughts, I-thoughts, and feeling of confinement, discomfort felt in the body. But if you have really seen the truth of no embodied self, if you have seen once through the illusion of the separate self, clearly, you will notice subtle, but big change.

Thoughts, sensations end feelings, including the sense of separate self, come and go, perceived as clouds on the impersonal background of the sky.

Never again so sticky as before; Nothing to cling to. Once the mind has seen no base in reality for the belief in “I”, “me”, rules of the game have changed. Believes fall of; slower or faster.

And game continues with the new ones. Consciousness got rid of one layer of delusion, of self imposed prison. It continues further; Begins anew from zero.

But nothing before you look and see for yourself; before you obtain zero-sum. And that is possible, here and now.

Do you know the feeling?

2011-11-26T00:41:00.000-08:00

It seemed always as if some titan, gorgeous and ancient sleeps in me.

Maybe blinded and humiliated like Samson, but never really dead, because he is immortal,

and never really helpless, because once he was so powerful, almost all-powerful.

And now, seemingly dead, he just sleeps. Forgotten from everyone, he just recovers back his endless power from all parts of the universe that shaped him and in any moment He can collect enough power and get up in his terrifying greatness and destroy all pillars of the world for which He is chained.

Do you know that feeling?

Feeling that you don’t live what you are supposed to live.

Instead that you live in a lie.

If, yes, than it is time to see what is this all about? What this feelings tells you. Where it leads you.

It leads you for sure to look behind the scene of so called your life.

What hides there?

Who is behind the mask? Who is “you”?

Do you know why it wares the mask?

Because behind is nothing. Nothing at all? And that nothing invented everything to hide that fact and keeps all infinite potential trapped in it.

Is it possible?

Unbelievable?

No, nothing to believe in, but to check for yourself.

To look with wide open ayes.

Still have feeling that something important is trapped and you want to help, but don’t know how?

Than look. And than you will see. And know how to help.

That feeling is a sign to dig deeper inside, it is a call for the next move, further in the unknown, in the infinity.

Quotations

2011-11-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

Nisargadatta Maharaj

"All that a guru can tell you is:
'My dear Sir, you are quite mistaken about yourself.
You are not the person you take yourself to be.'"
**
"There is no such thing as a person.
There are only restrictions and limitations.
The sum total of these defines the person. (...)
The person merely appears to be, like
the space within the pot appears to have the shape and volume
and smell of the pot."

"Unless you make tremendous efforts, you will not be convinced that
effort will take you nowhere. The self is so self-confident that
unless it is totally discouraged it will not give up. Mere verbal
conviction is not enough. Hard facts alone can show the absolute
nothingness of the self-image"

Ramana Maharshi

„We loosely talk of Self-realization, for lack of a better term. But how can one realize or make real that which alone is real? All we need to do is to give up our habit of regarding as real that which is unreal. All religious practices are meant solely to help us do this. When we stop regarding the unreal as real, then reality alone will remain, and we will be that.“

„Reality is simply the loss of ego. Destroy the ego by seeking its identity. Because the ego is no entity it will automatically vanish and reality will shine forth by itself.“

"I" lie

2011-11-24T06:18:00.000-08:00

Let's finish that lie, once and for all.

Lie about self, life about „me“ and „you“ living „our“ lives.

It is time to examine the big lie!

Look my friend,

Where is your self? Have you really examined that?

Who you are?

What else can you know, when this you don't know?

See, where is "I"?

Isn't it just a thought, just a label, just identification.

You might know you are not body, you might say you are soul, or mind, or spirit, or whatever.

But isn't it just a concept, just thoughts? Or it is you real experience, here and now.

Cause that is always the starting point, experience - here and now.

Without that, you are lost forever in imaginations and concepts.

Do you create your thoughts or they come and go? Like clods on the sky?

Do you have an experience or there is an experience?

Just an experience without division in inner and outer, including everything – body and its functioning, thoughts, feelings.

Look, and see once forever through the illusion that have been enslaved you for so long.

Breaking out of the self

2011-11-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

Human life takes place in most cases in one narrow segment between those two extremes; until the wall breaks down, until quantum leap happens, until you come to the gateless gate and go through.

After so much seeking for that gate, after coming to the wall and standing in front of it, in waiting for the miracle to happen, in waiting that grows to the desperation, in burning quest for the truth in which like in a fire disappears everything faced with question – what is real – you understand absurdity of the situation. Who was that that sought? Where did he gone now?

In unbelievable moment of truth you understand that you are on the other side of the gateless gate. Just, there is no you.

And what then?

Everything and nothing. It depends.

Battery charged with old energy usually is not completely empty and it discharges, depending on the content of its charge, on the type of the energy that drove false self.

That which accompanies passing the invisible gate is temporary complete stop of the usual stream, unconsciously initiated of assumed, separate I with its story hat has begin in memories of the childhood and expected but unacceptable end from it tried to run away.

Mind once directly confronted with the fact of non existence of the self experiences energy shock in which is released trapped energy which begins to flow and disappear as if ling into some greater flow.

Thoughts and feelings get then new impetus, but without old stickiness. It becomes intensified old blind spots through some new experiences and they energetically dissolve. Also new thoughts and feelings begin to emerge. Interchange feelings of

Uneasiness and excitement in front of the new opened unknown space and feelings of peace and lightness because of the living of the seeming control of the life.

Unexpected insight that I was just a thought that by non attention has been pasted to all other thoughts and feelings and which connected all experiences in seeming whole from which came feeling of identification with all experiences contaminating with the illusion one universal life flow.

While the life activities go in ordinary way, unknown undercurrents come to the surface during the days and nights lightening and deleting old, creating something quite new. In front of “your” eyes.

Everything and nothing get completely different meaning from the new point of reference, which isn’t anymore in the mist of thoughts and feelings wrongly named I.

---------

You jumped from the cliff and you don’t know if you fall down or fly, nor where this flow of life leads. But you know the freedom. You know that life now can freely be manifested through the body-mind, through the head, heart and hands, once regarded as yours. What delusion! What the consequences!

But mysterious equation of life is solved, as soon as you subtracted your self from it. Yes, it is more math than mysticism. No legends, no myths, nor symbols figure in it.

That means be awake, liberated, enlightened. And that is not end. But the beginning.

Lightmare

2011-11-10T02:23:00.000-08:00

Lightmare is waking up from the nightmare.

Lightmare is seeing only life where you once saw lots of different things and beings;

Lightmare is distilling shadow of the life from life.

Lightmare is not just breath-taking view from a high cliff;

It is a jump from the high cliff - into the vastness of the unknown.

It is beautiful and terrifying - free falling into the fullness of void.

Man is but a wave,

traveling from the source to the source;

Has no supstace just apperance;

Always changing, always moving,

Daying and reborning.

But behind all is shining,

forever living - Light.

Time lord

2011-10-30T01:49:00.000-07:00

„Where oh where did I leave myself today

On the bed, on the chair

Did I send myself away...“

Little god, P. Griffin

If it can be talked about some „fall“of humans, that would be the change of One, great and real god of love, with little, false god of time; which caused very unusual consequences. Universal light became unrecognizably scattered into different colors and admiration of that false god meant complete oblivion of ones real self, dissipating attention on following changes of virtual manifoldness and seeming participation in it. While god of love, god of eternal, immovable light presence was exiled and imprisoned in the depths of the heart, in the darkness of unconsciousness. And with Him everything real; and rule of unreal begun; rule of mechanisms and automatics; sand again and again slipping down right, without clear sense and purpose.

And humans were moved instead in harmony with the supreme law of light and love, in accordance with that mechanism; In oblivion of light and love at the same time longing for everything that could remind them on the forgotten god in their hearts; Longing for the light and warmth of the sun, child’s smile, dear voice, smell of the rose and whole series of experiences possible in that oblivious state of being through which, like light through the holes, passed reminders of lost paradise exiled in unknown depths of their hearts.

And time lord knew that such little sparks of remembrance must not last long and he urged them always further, in his tact, from one experience to another, in a misty, circling, tragicomic quest.

But, there is only one god and none can permanently take His place, no matter how good plan he has and no matter how successful he might seem to be.

And so it was with the clever time lord.

After countless experiences humans started to wake up from that big dream of time; One by one.

Noticing something is strange; they stood still and looked for themselves, in themselves.

While they were waking up, they had some new feeling of void.

Something like in quoted verses from the song little god; As if little hourglass was smashed and all captured, insignificant sand of thoughts, fears, desires, plans, small and big dramas begun to spill forever. Free space was left, seemingly void, still hiding unknown, new possibilities. As if field of eternal light presence imbued whole heart and opened wide its doors connecting inside and outside, enabling god of love to create the world anew.

Being adult human

2011-10-25T07:19:00.001-07:00

Although most of so called adults think of themselves as being adult, they are not.

What is real state of human adulthood? It is something like being awake amidst of the dream.

Can it be recognized somehow?

Some signs of that state are described in Rudyard Kipling’s poem IF.

You are really adult human being, or on the way to become that, if …

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too…

Because your trust is centered behind the sphere of such influence. Because you see behind the life-play-scene. Because you accept imperfection in all yours and others’ roles beginning to realize real perfection behind you and all man.

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same.

You awaken in a dream state, called by beings around you - life and world- being part of your experience it doesn't rule over you. Your thought stream can be stopped and interrupted because neither thoughts are who you are. All experiences are accepted, no matter what and no meter which feelings might arise with them. They come and go as clouds on the sky, seen for what they are - dream-state phenomena.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss.

You more and more become who you are, or better disbecome who you are not and although can’t grasp nature of that process, fear dissolves in it and you dare doing whatever you feel in the moment that needs to be done. Past and future doesn’t matter. There is no regrets and no accusations of anyone.

If…than…

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!

Genesis for new millennium

2011-10-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, actually before the time, there was an infinite world containing all possible infinities.

It was life field and play ground of infinite beings, later known as gods.

And once upon a time, before the time, some of those beings wanted to experience limitedness.

How they came upon such idea, who knows, but there was no law in their world forbidding it. And after lots of imagination and creation, they produced with their infinite capabilities such a world - such a simulation for this new and unimaginable experience.

There imagined or created, or both, very vast, but limited space filled with various pulsating radiations which simulated such manifold worlds every one inside the other, all growing from one basic idea. And they set up as a basic surrounding template universe of different moving bodies containing various smaller bodies on different level of complexities, which could interact in innumerous scenarios. And on such arranged stage there was one special character, called humanity, as a unique model represented by lots of single human beings. It was developed step by step, to be able to represent the creators themselves. It was crown of all creation, because just through him/her creators should have direct experience they wanted to. And as they wanted, so it was.

The game was designed in levels - going - so called- downward, level by level, to some final level of confinement, being played in ever more dense substance called also matter; Because infinity can not all at once experience finiteness.

And, of course this god’s play had its counterpart, going -so called- upward and backward, till out of the simulation of limitedness itself.

Also step by step. Because the limitation game was so good created that a being once identified with confined way of living, couldn’t all at once jumped to the experience of infiniteness. Or at least so were the once defined rules.

And the game has begun.

And the game is being played. Here and now. In its full complexity.

With all its content we know and don’t know.

So, can we locate us now somewhere on its scale?

Where we are going to in our -so called- new millennium?

Just turning the direction to -so called- backward-upward?

Does it feel hard to stand upright again? Maybe.

But that is our next step.

Probably inevitable.

Still, we have to make it! That is the rule.

And there are in unmanifested store many more new steps for us.

Not yet quite visible, before we make this one,

but there is no end in this vast invisible fullness, that we can feel, that is created specially for us, to bring us ever again in a quite new experience.

To expand our here and now, ever more, ever further, till there are more and further.

Till we stand again in infiniteness which has been for ever written in our harts,

as an undestroyable program, unfailingly designed to accompany this great journey till the and in endless.

Lightmare

“I think” is just a thought, as well as “I”.

How deep can be now?

Truthseeker pointer

Stepping out of the time

2012 – Story or evolutionary leap?

Presence in NOW and LOOKing

Clearing and opening

Life Line

Harmony

Seeking

„…Where did Icome from, and what am I supposed to be doing?I have no idea.My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,and I intend to end up there...”

Who SaysWords with My Mouth,Jalal al-Din Rumi

Who SaysWords with My Mouth,Jalal al-Din Rumi

Taking off the „I“- glasses

Meister Eckhart

Eden-fall-return

One in two, two in one

Unlimited idea of freedom

„Each of us is in truth an idea of the Great Gull,an unlimited idea of freedom“

Jonathan Livingston Seagull,Richard Bach

What is vs. what isn't

Who are you (not)?

Happiness and self

Alchemy of real life

Push yourself

White Dominican

Being and not-being

Awakening/Liberation/Enlightenment -Now-

Zero-sum

Do you know the feeling?

Quotations

"I" lie

Breaking out of the self

Lightmare

Time lord

Being adult human

Genesis for new millennium

„…Where did Icome from, and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there...”

Who SaysWords with My Mouth,
Jalal al-Din Rumi

Who SaysWords with My Mouth,
Jalal al-Din Rumi